2ND_Quarter_Week 4_Discussion

 1. What triggered the behavior of Eric?

               Eric is very insecure in his relationship with Shirley. He is afraid that Shirley will leave him to be with someone else. Seeing Shirley talk to other men invoked feelings of jealousy within him. This jealousy developed into possessive tendencies. He became manipulative and controlling on which people Shirley should interact with. His trust in Shirley was so low that he has to monitor her 24/7 just so he can have peace of mind.

                His controlling nature may have stemmed from early childhood (as all forms of psychological attachment came from it). His parents may have rejected him and deprived him of the love that he needed while growing up. This is why when he finally found someone who will give it to him, he clung to that person. In the end, he has grown a huge emotional dependency on Shirley that his entire life revolves around her. 

2. "Lumiit yung mundo ko... parang unti-unting sumikip... nakulong ako sa kaming 2 lang..." What does this mean? Why did the girl say this?

With Eric’s constant surveillance, Shirley’s social life has crumbled. His manipulative behavior has led her to cut off most people in her life.

She did everything that Eric wanted in hopes that he will change. She obeyed him and his every word just to appease him. She even gave him her freedom.

In the end, her compliance has only intensified Eric’s possessiveness. This vicious cycle continued to the point where Shirley felt suffocated from her relationship with Eric.

3. Give your own reaction/reflection about the video. Include your learnings/realizations.

Trust is the foundation for every relationship. If you don’t trust one another, why be together in the first place? A relationship with no trust is toxic. Giving your trust to your significant other shows how much you respect them and their boundaries. Without trust, jealousy is bound to occur.

Eric’s constant fear of abandonment has led him to take drastic actions that have left Shirley suffocated. His possessiveness has become a shackle not only to Shirley but also to himself. He has limited his world only to Shirley to the point where he has grown a strong emotional dependency. In the end, he has cut off many people out of his and Shirley’s life just to have a form of reassurance that she will not leave him.

Of course, by no means is Shirley fully unaccountable for the situation that befell her. Relationships are a two-way road, after all. Although she speaks out her concerns about his behavior, she still bends to Eric’s will after a moment of sweet talk. Her actions have led to the encouragement of Eric’s possessive traits, leading to a vicious cycle of control and compliance.

Recognizing the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship is an important trait that every person should have. No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship where trust and respect are thrown out of the window. Being able to end a toxic relationship is commendable and should be normalized in our society.

In the case of Shirley’s relationship with Eric, she was lucky enough that it didn’t reach the point where he resulted in domestic violence (given his violent nature). She was able to back out of a potentially abusive relationship while she still can. Not many people can get out of abusive relationships due to Stockholm syndrome, so she was fortunate. Who knows what would’ve happened if she stayed?